We Need to Protect Our Kids
Over the past few weeks we have heard a great deal about the Penn St. sex scandal. Now there are reports about sexual abuse at Syracuse University. A few years ago there were reports of priests molesting little boys coming out on what seemed to be a weekly basis but it seems as if over time people stopped talking about it. I am afraid that after a few weeks we are going to forget about these cases and it bothers me. This subject needs to be addressed and it needs to be addressed in a major way!
Everyday little boys and little girls are being molested by people that they know, love, and trust. Usually when television show kids being molested, they show foster kids and kids that are wards of the state. People really aren't talking about the abuse that happens in regular homes. It's sad but kids are being raped by their own fathers, uncles, cousins, and brothers. What makes the situation worse is that because people don't talk about this, that we think these cases are isolated but they aren't. More of us know people who have been sexually abused than we think we know. Unfortunately, it's that shameful secret that many people keep to themselves and so they suffer in silence.
One of my classmates at Florida State University (Laveranues Coles), was molested by his stepfather when he was a kid. It took him until he was about 27 years old to talk about the situation because let's face it, men don't want to talk about being sexually molested by another man. The problem with this is that it allows anger to boil inside of us. It diminishes our ability to trust and can ruin many of our future relationships. I personally know at least three men who have been sexually molested as boys by people living in their own homes.
Before Oprah's show went off air, she had two girls on there who had been sexually molested by their brothers. When they told their mother, she did nothing. When they told the father, he started to molest them himself and again the mother did nothing. These little girls suffered for years and had they not told a neighbor about the situation, they would have suffered even longer. How sad and how sick is this story?! Your home is supposed to be your safe place and your family members are supposed to be your protectors, but for them and countless others, this was not the case.
I can't tell you how much it angers me to know that people are so willing to do nothing in these cases. I know of kids who have been molested and the parent or other relatives were never punished. There is one thing for a parent not to know what has happened to their child but it is another thing all together when a parent knows and chooses to keep quiet. To me that parent needs to be punished in the same manner as the person who has committed the assault. When you can't speak up to your protectors for help, who can you turn to? Then people want to know why their children resent them and have no respect for them.
Quite frankly, everyone involved in this Penn St. crap should be fired and criminal charges should be filed against them. To let something like that go because you don't want to bring scandal to the program is shameful. Our children deserve better than this and because they can't protect themselves, we need to protect them. If this happened to my child, nothing short of God would come between me and the beast who had caused this pain. I just think that more needs to be said and more needs to be done to protect our babies. If not people will continue to get away with these heinous crimes! In time all children lose their innocence, but this definitely is the wrong way to lose it!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Marriage is not 50/50
Marriage is not 50/50
Marriage is WORK, if you didn't know before, now you know! It's a full time commitment that never sleeps, it must be strengthened, and it must be nourished. Besides God, it is the most important relationship that you will ever have. This person has now become "blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh."
We have been taught that marriage is a 50/50 venture. Some of us have heard that it will not always be 50/50 but sometimes it will be 60/40, 80/20, or whatever other ratios that you can come up with. Often times they teach that your partner will not always give you everything. They also tell you that you may not always give your spouse your all. This gets repeated so much that we really don't question or challenge it, we just accept it as the gospel.
To me, a marriage that is not 100/100, is a marriage that is being short changed. Even if you are giving 99/1, you are not giving your all. Many of us are "Randy Mossing" our marriages. We show up when we want to show up and we take plays off. We say that if we don't have things exactly our way, that we are going to ignore the needs of the other team member. To me this is a marriage that is not using it's full potential.
Don't get me wrong, we are human beings and as humans, we have to fight the urge not to lollygag. Let's face it, 100 percent is not always an easy thing to give. Sometimes we wake up and we really don't feel like going all out. There are times when we want to do our own thing and not have to worry about another person. For so long we have been individual players, and now we are team members for life.
Marriage in my opinion should be more like Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan. It's like having a love and a passion that is so strong, that you always want the best. You never saw these guys take a play off and even when they put up great numbers, they were always thinking about what they could have done and should be able to do better. There was never a time that you could say that these guys short changed you. You should give the same to your spouse. They should always feel that you are trying and see that your are tirelessly working to make things right between the two of you.
Giving 100 percent does not mean that things will be perfect and that your marriage will be perfect. Magic Johnson, in his best year, shot 91 percent from the free throw line. Michael Jordan, who is considered by many to be the greatest basketball player ever, shot less than 50 percent from the field. Giving your all does not mean that you will make every shot or that you will never mess up. What it does mean, is that you play your heart out and you always seek for the best you have to offer. Your spouse will have no choice but to respect you, knowing that you are giving your all.
Between Magic and Michael, they played 28 years in the NBA. Amongst the two of them, they won 11 NBA titles. What does this mean? It means that even with giving your all, there will be some disappointments. There are always some Boston Celtics and Detroit Pistons standing in your way. You just learn how to defeat them and never let them defeat you even when it seems as if they have won.
Let's face it, even the best of us will face rough times and situations but that is not an excuse to give up. You owe it to the team to show up and be ready to play each and everyday. You owe it to them to give 100 percent. When you need a breather, discuss what can be done so that you come back refreshed and ready to reign victorious. If it is difficult to beat the Celtics with giving your all, you know you won't win when you don't give your all. The same can be said in a marriage!
Marriage is WORK, if you didn't know before, now you know! It's a full time commitment that never sleeps, it must be strengthened, and it must be nourished. Besides God, it is the most important relationship that you will ever have. This person has now become "blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh."
We have been taught that marriage is a 50/50 venture. Some of us have heard that it will not always be 50/50 but sometimes it will be 60/40, 80/20, or whatever other ratios that you can come up with. Often times they teach that your partner will not always give you everything. They also tell you that you may not always give your spouse your all. This gets repeated so much that we really don't question or challenge it, we just accept it as the gospel.
To me, a marriage that is not 100/100, is a marriage that is being short changed. Even if you are giving 99/1, you are not giving your all. Many of us are "Randy Mossing" our marriages. We show up when we want to show up and we take plays off. We say that if we don't have things exactly our way, that we are going to ignore the needs of the other team member. To me this is a marriage that is not using it's full potential.
Don't get me wrong, we are human beings and as humans, we have to fight the urge not to lollygag. Let's face it, 100 percent is not always an easy thing to give. Sometimes we wake up and we really don't feel like going all out. There are times when we want to do our own thing and not have to worry about another person. For so long we have been individual players, and now we are team members for life.
Marriage in my opinion should be more like Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan. It's like having a love and a passion that is so strong, that you always want the best. You never saw these guys take a play off and even when they put up great numbers, they were always thinking about what they could have done and should be able to do better. There was never a time that you could say that these guys short changed you. You should give the same to your spouse. They should always feel that you are trying and see that your are tirelessly working to make things right between the two of you.
Giving 100 percent does not mean that things will be perfect and that your marriage will be perfect. Magic Johnson, in his best year, shot 91 percent from the free throw line. Michael Jordan, who is considered by many to be the greatest basketball player ever, shot less than 50 percent from the field. Giving your all does not mean that you will make every shot or that you will never mess up. What it does mean, is that you play your heart out and you always seek for the best you have to offer. Your spouse will have no choice but to respect you, knowing that you are giving your all.
Between Magic and Michael, they played 28 years in the NBA. Amongst the two of them, they won 11 NBA titles. What does this mean? It means that even with giving your all, there will be some disappointments. There are always some Boston Celtics and Detroit Pistons standing in your way. You just learn how to defeat them and never let them defeat you even when it seems as if they have won.
Let's face it, even the best of us will face rough times and situations but that is not an excuse to give up. You owe it to the team to show up and be ready to play each and everyday. You owe it to them to give 100 percent. When you need a breather, discuss what can be done so that you come back refreshed and ready to reign victorious. If it is difficult to beat the Celtics with giving your all, you know you won't win when you don't give your all. The same can be said in a marriage!
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