Saturday, April 28, 2012
FELLAS as Much as it Pains Me to Say This...We Have to be Better Husbands
FELLAS as Much as it Pains Me to Say This...We Have to be Better Husbands
Yesterday I learned a very humbling truth and that is…....I had no clue on how to be a husband! When I thought about how something like that could happen it didn't take me long to realize why. Let's face it - I was not surrounded by men who knew how to be husbands. My father and mother were divorced when I was four years old. I lived with my grandparents from the time I was four to seventeen and I know for a fact that my grandfather was the worst example of a husband! During my senior year of high school, I lived with my aunt and uncle and to be honest, that was the first time that I saw a husband that I could pattern myself after. And even he didn't completely know what he was doing!
Many men - especially black men - are less than prepared to be husbands. This is mainly because often times we never saw an example of what a husband should be. Even though some of my friends grew up with both parents in the household, that did little to prepare them for the duty of being a husband. Most of our thoughts on what being a husband should be like come from a secular viewpoint. The world has a view of what a husband should look like and the Bible has a view on what a husband is. All too often the reason that men fail as husbands is because the world's views and God's view are totally different.
Look at the messes that we have made in our marriages. They say that in America the divorce rate is around 50 percent. Many point to the fact that we are living in a "Godless," society as the reasoning behind this. Unfortunately the so-called "heathen," are not the only ones getting divorced. Sorry to say but "Christians," are getting divorced as well. I know a few pastors who have gotten divorced so it's not just the secular community who is killing marriage. It is the lack of knowledge of what being a husband is all about that is destroying the sanctity of the institute. Sure, other reasons contribute to the decline of marriages but at the end of the day God holds men responsible.
Men think that being a husband is about being the hunter, gatherer, and protector of the home. While these things are parts of his duties, they are not necessarily what God says he should be. Husbands are supposed to emulate Christ, and as he sacrificed and died for us, we are supposed to do the same for our wives. We say that we would die for our wives yet we refuse to die to self. We don't put our wives first in all things. I know I don't and that is one of the reasons that I fail. We really aren't taught marriage from a biblical precept. So we come into marriage thinking that we can be selfish and that things will work themselves out. We tell ourselves that we will fulfill our duties when she fulfills her duties - which clearly shows that we have conditions to our love.
We often lack sacrifice because we were taught to have this macho image. A man who sacrifices too much is considered a punk and is weak but that is not the true definition of sacrifice. There is a difference between being a doormat and sacrificing for your wife and the good of your family. Too bad many of us are not taught the difference. What we are taught is just plain selfishness. We are willing to give to our wives things that don't take much for us to give, but as my wife says, "when the rubber meets the road," we say something different.
I suggest that men read For Married Men Only: Three Principles to Ignite Love by Tony Evans. I finished the book in one day and in one day I realized that I have been lacking as a husband. It's one of those things that make you feel like you were living in a matrix. I saw my duties as a husband one way days before and now I see my duties in a much different light. Fellas, I know you are probably going to say that a marriage is about more than just the husband and you are right. However, the family is our duty. God holds us responsible so we have to learn to be better husbands.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Please Don't Forget About Trayvon Martin
Please Do Not Forget About Trayvon Martin
Human beings have short attention spans. One minute we are consumed with something and the next minute we are finding something to replace that interest. The media is the same way - they love a hot story but only until another hot story comes along. God knows that about a month ago I was so tired of hearing about the “Occupy Movements”. Today, you barely know that they are still going on. This world is ever-changing with violence and disasters taking place almost on a daily basis. The news could be reporting on a case that interests us only to break away to some new, over-the-top story.That is why I say, don't forget about Trayvon Martin!
Right now Black America is up in arms about this case. It's not the first time that something like this has happened and I am sure that it will not be the last time. With that being said, we have the ability to make some serious changes to laws and how the system handles these types of cases. I have watched many late night news shows about this case and a lot of the commentators are saying that we will forget about this soon - maybe that's their hope. If we do this, we will be doing ourselves a great injustice and that would not motivate our system to change.
We need to rekindle the fire that Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and many other black Civil Rights leaders started. The courts and the system back then were just as corrupt or even more corrupt than it is now but because we fought, the system had to bend. They didn't bend because they saw the error of their ways. They bent because we would not allow ourselves to continue to be mistreated. Now today we are so comfortable in our settings that we refuse to fight and they keep abusing us. Instead of the entire community getting into the fight, we have one side that refuses to fight, another side who fights foolishly, and another side that fights until they get bored.
We don't have the luxury of having all of these sides. Trayvon is our son, cousin, nephew, friend, and in essence our very selfs. For many of us this story hurts but because it happened hundreds of miles away or because it isn't our child, we aren't taking the action that we should be taking. When people like Zimmerman get away with something like this, it makes it easier for this type of action to continue. It is only a matter of time before one of us gets badly hurt or killed because we looked suspicious to someone.
Please let us continue to keep this story in the news! Let's continue to march, send letters, and do whatever it takes (peacefully) to show that we are not going to forget. Let us not rest until we get justice. Let us stop looking for some great person to save us or some government official and let us take it into our own hands (within the scope of the law). I am proud of what our community is doing thus far but let us not stop until we reach our goal and please please please DO NOT FORGET ABOUT Trayvon Martin!
Human beings have short attention spans. One minute we are consumed with something and the next minute we are finding something to replace that interest. The media is the same way - they love a hot story but only until another hot story comes along. God knows that about a month ago I was so tired of hearing about the “Occupy Movements”. Today, you barely know that they are still going on. This world is ever-changing with violence and disasters taking place almost on a daily basis. The news could be reporting on a case that interests us only to break away to some new, over-the-top story.That is why I say, don't forget about Trayvon Martin!
Right now Black America is up in arms about this case. It's not the first time that something like this has happened and I am sure that it will not be the last time. With that being said, we have the ability to make some serious changes to laws and how the system handles these types of cases. I have watched many late night news shows about this case and a lot of the commentators are saying that we will forget about this soon - maybe that's their hope. If we do this, we will be doing ourselves a great injustice and that would not motivate our system to change.
We need to rekindle the fire that Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and many other black Civil Rights leaders started. The courts and the system back then were just as corrupt or even more corrupt than it is now but because we fought, the system had to bend. They didn't bend because they saw the error of their ways. They bent because we would not allow ourselves to continue to be mistreated. Now today we are so comfortable in our settings that we refuse to fight and they keep abusing us. Instead of the entire community getting into the fight, we have one side that refuses to fight, another side who fights foolishly, and another side that fights until they get bored.
We don't have the luxury of having all of these sides. Trayvon is our son, cousin, nephew, friend, and in essence our very selfs. For many of us this story hurts but because it happened hundreds of miles away or because it isn't our child, we aren't taking the action that we should be taking. When people like Zimmerman get away with something like this, it makes it easier for this type of action to continue. It is only a matter of time before one of us gets badly hurt or killed because we looked suspicious to someone.
Please let us continue to keep this story in the news! Let's continue to march, send letters, and do whatever it takes (peacefully) to show that we are not going to forget. Let us not rest until we get justice. Let us stop looking for some great person to save us or some government official and let us take it into our own hands (within the scope of the law). I am proud of what our community is doing thus far but let us not stop until we reach our goal and please please please DO NOT FORGET ABOUT Trayvon Martin!
Marriage Can Make You Stupid
Marriage Can Bring Out The Stupid in All of Us
Have you ever seriously listened to married people fight? Let's be honest for a minute, married people sometimes argue about the craziest things! We have all heard the saying that you shouldn't make a mountain out of a mole hill, but unfortunately we do this too often. Sometimes things that are not even that important become World War III. We end up yelling and attacking each other for things that in the big scheme of things, aren't that important.
I am sure that we have all heard the age old argument about the toilet seat being left up. After all of these years, this same argument has stumped many couples. Wives believe that the toilet seat should be pulled down after the husband uses the bathroom and husbands just don't see the big deal. Still to this day I can get a crowd of men and women riled up if I just mention the subject but no matter how you slice it up, the argument is just ridiculous. Husbands, for your own sanity, please pull the seat down. Wives, if he forgets, just pull the seat down and go about your business. It's just that simple - nothing more and nothing less!
My wife and I used to argue about how we would drive to her mother's house. She likes to go a certain way when she drives and I like to go a certain way when I drive. She says that her way is shorter and to be honest, whether it is or not, I personally like to go the way that I go. Not because I am trying to be difficult or opposite, but because that is what I prefer. We don't have this argument anymore because I realized that in order to not have it, I would just go the way she suggested. Honestly, it just was not worth the conversation.
I know that as human beings, we tend to take things personally but we really have to learn to get over ourselves. Marriage teaches us all that the world does not revolve around us. When we continue to fight over these simple things, we continue to think that the world is revolving around us. Peace in marriage is the responsibility of both partners. A husband shouldn't always have to do something his wife's way in order to keep peace. Wives shouldn't have to always do things the husband's way to keep peace either. It's about compromise and the reason that we don't compromise is because we have a problem with self exaltation!
Men and women usually understand that in life they cannot have everything their way. Yet for some strange reason, we believe that this does not apply to marriage. We seriously have this skewed view of marriage where our partners seem to become our own personal punching bags. If we don't get what we want, then somehow our partner must not love us like they should. Let's be honest for a second and just call it like it really is – at times we are just plain selfish! We want what we want and when we don't get it, then someone (our mate) has to pay.
Honestly, our marriages are too blessed to be stressing over foolishness. Some husbands spend all of their rent money on horse races and getting drunk. Some husbands beat their wives for looking at them funny. Some wives like to go clubbing with the girls and act like they aren't married. Some wives feel like there is nothing wrong with having another man on the side. I guess the point that I am trying to make is that some people have serious issues in their marriages. Arguing over stupid and simple things just show how simple some of us really are. Am I guilty of this sometimes? Of course! That is why I am writing this. I am starting to understand that I need to grow up and that many of our marriages need to grow up as well!
Have you ever seriously listened to married people fight? Let's be honest for a minute, married people sometimes argue about the craziest things! We have all heard the saying that you shouldn't make a mountain out of a mole hill, but unfortunately we do this too often. Sometimes things that are not even that important become World War III. We end up yelling and attacking each other for things that in the big scheme of things, aren't that important.
I am sure that we have all heard the age old argument about the toilet seat being left up. After all of these years, this same argument has stumped many couples. Wives believe that the toilet seat should be pulled down after the husband uses the bathroom and husbands just don't see the big deal. Still to this day I can get a crowd of men and women riled up if I just mention the subject but no matter how you slice it up, the argument is just ridiculous. Husbands, for your own sanity, please pull the seat down. Wives, if he forgets, just pull the seat down and go about your business. It's just that simple - nothing more and nothing less!
My wife and I used to argue about how we would drive to her mother's house. She likes to go a certain way when she drives and I like to go a certain way when I drive. She says that her way is shorter and to be honest, whether it is or not, I personally like to go the way that I go. Not because I am trying to be difficult or opposite, but because that is what I prefer. We don't have this argument anymore because I realized that in order to not have it, I would just go the way she suggested. Honestly, it just was not worth the conversation.
I know that as human beings, we tend to take things personally but we really have to learn to get over ourselves. Marriage teaches us all that the world does not revolve around us. When we continue to fight over these simple things, we continue to think that the world is revolving around us. Peace in marriage is the responsibility of both partners. A husband shouldn't always have to do something his wife's way in order to keep peace. Wives shouldn't have to always do things the husband's way to keep peace either. It's about compromise and the reason that we don't compromise is because we have a problem with self exaltation!
Men and women usually understand that in life they cannot have everything their way. Yet for some strange reason, we believe that this does not apply to marriage. We seriously have this skewed view of marriage where our partners seem to become our own personal punching bags. If we don't get what we want, then somehow our partner must not love us like they should. Let's be honest for a second and just call it like it really is – at times we are just plain selfish! We want what we want and when we don't get it, then someone (our mate) has to pay.
Honestly, our marriages are too blessed to be stressing over foolishness. Some husbands spend all of their rent money on horse races and getting drunk. Some husbands beat their wives for looking at them funny. Some wives like to go clubbing with the girls and act like they aren't married. Some wives feel like there is nothing wrong with having another man on the side. I guess the point that I am trying to make is that some people have serious issues in their marriages. Arguing over stupid and simple things just show how simple some of us really are. Am I guilty of this sometimes? Of course! That is why I am writing this. I am starting to understand that I need to grow up and that many of our marriages need to grow up as well!
Friday, March 30, 2012
THE BLAME GAME
The Blame Game
What is the most popular game of all time? Some will guess Truth or Dare, Monopoly, or maybe even the Drinking Game - but they would be wrong. The world's most popular game was never taught but it seems to be a skill with which every human was born. The name of the game is simply called the "blame game." We usually grow to hate this game and yet most of us continue to play it.
Human beings are experts at this game because we have had so much practice. Remember fighting with one of your siblings as a kid? They would do something that we didn't like, so we would retaliate and when the punishment seemed to be on it's way, we would say something like, "they started it”, or “he hit me first." In our immature state, we tried to find a way to blame other people for our problems. Unfortunately, many of us do not leave this state of being.
Money and water may be scarce resources but there is no shortage of blame. We like to blame people for everything but we don't like to look at our wrongs. I knew a girl who couldn't understand why people didn't like her. If you asked her, she would tell you everything that was wrong with other people but you would never hear her say what she did to contribute to this. This girl was a liar and a gossip - people hated her because she was a trouble maker. She refused to take responsibility for what she was doing wrong. Instead of looking within, it was always everyone else.
I see the blame game just about every day of my life. It's hard for people to fully take responsibility for their own actions. Blaming others, in a way, makes us feel better about ourselves. Sometimes we refuse to see ourselves with the same lenses that other people do. When people try to point out something that we have done to them, many of us try to find a way to put some of the blame back on that person. It's almost as if we all become mini lawyers because we will try to justify our way out of everything.
Have you ever had a conversation with your married friends? God knows that we are expert blame artists! I talk to my best friend about his wife all of the time and he sure knows how to blame her for things but when I play devils advocate with him, he can justify himself with the best of them. I won't just throw my boy under the bus, I may be king of the blame game. In my head, if I feel like you have done me wrong, I feel justified for behaving a certain way. If my wife tells me that I did something wrong or comes at me in a less than loving way, I have been known to dish out what I felt I was receiving.
The blame game truly has no place in a marriage. What I am currently learning is that the people who usually play the blame game, have too much pride. Honestly I like to see myself as humble, but marriage has shown me that I lack true humility. Sometimes you have to sit back and shut up when your spouse is telling you something. You can continue to go back and forth with each other but trust me, you won't get far. You may even be justified in how you are feeling but even then, you aren't justified in the blame game. It is said that if someone smacks you in the face that you are to turn the other cheek but what most of us don't understand is that this is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength! The blame game won't get us very far and justification is only for self edification. In the end we will be held responsible for what we do and have done - there will be no points added for the blame game!
What is the most popular game of all time? Some will guess Truth or Dare, Monopoly, or maybe even the Drinking Game - but they would be wrong. The world's most popular game was never taught but it seems to be a skill with which every human was born. The name of the game is simply called the "blame game." We usually grow to hate this game and yet most of us continue to play it.
Human beings are experts at this game because we have had so much practice. Remember fighting with one of your siblings as a kid? They would do something that we didn't like, so we would retaliate and when the punishment seemed to be on it's way, we would say something like, "they started it”, or “he hit me first." In our immature state, we tried to find a way to blame other people for our problems. Unfortunately, many of us do not leave this state of being.
Money and water may be scarce resources but there is no shortage of blame. We like to blame people for everything but we don't like to look at our wrongs. I knew a girl who couldn't understand why people didn't like her. If you asked her, she would tell you everything that was wrong with other people but you would never hear her say what she did to contribute to this. This girl was a liar and a gossip - people hated her because she was a trouble maker. She refused to take responsibility for what she was doing wrong. Instead of looking within, it was always everyone else.
I see the blame game just about every day of my life. It's hard for people to fully take responsibility for their own actions. Blaming others, in a way, makes us feel better about ourselves. Sometimes we refuse to see ourselves with the same lenses that other people do. When people try to point out something that we have done to them, many of us try to find a way to put some of the blame back on that person. It's almost as if we all become mini lawyers because we will try to justify our way out of everything.
Have you ever had a conversation with your married friends? God knows that we are expert blame artists! I talk to my best friend about his wife all of the time and he sure knows how to blame her for things but when I play devils advocate with him, he can justify himself with the best of them. I won't just throw my boy under the bus, I may be king of the blame game. In my head, if I feel like you have done me wrong, I feel justified for behaving a certain way. If my wife tells me that I did something wrong or comes at me in a less than loving way, I have been known to dish out what I felt I was receiving.
The blame game truly has no place in a marriage. What I am currently learning is that the people who usually play the blame game, have too much pride. Honestly I like to see myself as humble, but marriage has shown me that I lack true humility. Sometimes you have to sit back and shut up when your spouse is telling you something. You can continue to go back and forth with each other but trust me, you won't get far. You may even be justified in how you are feeling but even then, you aren't justified in the blame game. It is said that if someone smacks you in the face that you are to turn the other cheek but what most of us don't understand is that this is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength! The blame game won't get us very far and justification is only for self edification. In the end we will be held responsible for what we do and have done - there will be no points added for the blame game!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
YOU NEED TO CHANGE MORE THAN YOU THINK
You Need to Change More Than You Think
I have always heard the saying “Men go into marriage expecting their women not to change; women go into marriage expecting that their husbands will”. From the beginning of the marriage, there is already this push and pull. We often walk into marriages with mixed expectations and this makes it harder to become one. Both sides have to realize that they must adjust their perspectives and that there is need for change.
The word change is a very dirty word for most people. Let's face it, when someone thinks you should change, you feel as if they are telling you that something is wrong with you. It's hard not to take things personally because you feel that this is the person that your spouse married and that they should have known that this was who/how you were from the beginning. Honestly, this is where the trouble truly begins and where animosity begins.
Everyone is reluctant to change, especially when someone is requiring it of you. When you change on your own, it obviously does not feel forced. When someone else wants you to change, most people fight it tooth and nail. I guess you can say that this is where pride takes over. When that happens, it's difficult to get through to the other person. Instead of listening to each other, it almost seems as if you begin to try to “one up” the other person.
The problem with most humans is that we know that we are not perfect and yet we act as if we are. Fundamentally we know that we have issues but we don't like it when other people try to tell us. When our friends tell us that we aren't perfect, we laugh it off or we tell them where they can go. When our spouses tell us about our imperfections it’s a slap in the face. We expect for them to live with us, flaws and all.
Change is all around us and to tell you the truth, we change all of the time. Sometimes we change by choice and other times out of necessity. When it comes to changing in marriages, our personal feelings get in the way. That seems to be the thing that makes changing so difficult - being personally invested takes over our rational thinking. Change, however, does not need to be as horrible as we make it.
Honestly, I feel that change comes from within. Once your spouse lets you know that there is an issue, you have to decide to change to accommodate them. All too often we expect our spouses to change right on the spot or when we want them to but that can be dangerous. Change isn't something that happens overnight for most people. Sure, some people can change cold turkey but that is not the norm. Someone who has been a certain way their entire life now has to change - that does not come easily.
I am not going to sit here and act as if I have this change thing down because I do not. Honestly, change is very difficult for me. I am a very analytical person and when I don't feel like something makes sense, it's hard for me to change. The thing about change in marriage is that it is a two way street. All parties must be willing to change in order for things to work. No matter how great you think you are, you will need to change. If you can seriously read this and think that you do not need to change, you probably need to change more than you think!
I have always heard the saying “Men go into marriage expecting their women not to change; women go into marriage expecting that their husbands will”. From the beginning of the marriage, there is already this push and pull. We often walk into marriages with mixed expectations and this makes it harder to become one. Both sides have to realize that they must adjust their perspectives and that there is need for change.
The word change is a very dirty word for most people. Let's face it, when someone thinks you should change, you feel as if they are telling you that something is wrong with you. It's hard not to take things personally because you feel that this is the person that your spouse married and that they should have known that this was who/how you were from the beginning. Honestly, this is where the trouble truly begins and where animosity begins.
Everyone is reluctant to change, especially when someone is requiring it of you. When you change on your own, it obviously does not feel forced. When someone else wants you to change, most people fight it tooth and nail. I guess you can say that this is where pride takes over. When that happens, it's difficult to get through to the other person. Instead of listening to each other, it almost seems as if you begin to try to “one up” the other person.
The problem with most humans is that we know that we are not perfect and yet we act as if we are. Fundamentally we know that we have issues but we don't like it when other people try to tell us. When our friends tell us that we aren't perfect, we laugh it off or we tell them where they can go. When our spouses tell us about our imperfections it’s a slap in the face. We expect for them to live with us, flaws and all.
Change is all around us and to tell you the truth, we change all of the time. Sometimes we change by choice and other times out of necessity. When it comes to changing in marriages, our personal feelings get in the way. That seems to be the thing that makes changing so difficult - being personally invested takes over our rational thinking. Change, however, does not need to be as horrible as we make it.
Honestly, I feel that change comes from within. Once your spouse lets you know that there is an issue, you have to decide to change to accommodate them. All too often we expect our spouses to change right on the spot or when we want them to but that can be dangerous. Change isn't something that happens overnight for most people. Sure, some people can change cold turkey but that is not the norm. Someone who has been a certain way their entire life now has to change - that does not come easily.
I am not going to sit here and act as if I have this change thing down because I do not. Honestly, change is very difficult for me. I am a very analytical person and when I don't feel like something makes sense, it's hard for me to change. The thing about change in marriage is that it is a two way street. All parties must be willing to change in order for things to work. No matter how great you think you are, you will need to change. If you can seriously read this and think that you do not need to change, you probably need to change more than you think!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
CHEAP GRACE...THE CHRISTIAN KILLER
“cheap grace”...The Silent Christian Killer
I have visited several different churches and denominations throughout the years and the one constant throughout each church is that everyone believes that they are saved. When you hear the altar call each week, the preacher basically asks everyone, “do you know where you are going if you were to die today?”. Some rush up to the front to assure their salvation, while others believe that they have already obtained it. But is walking down the aisle to the front of the church enough?
It is often said that in order to be saved, we must believe in the Son of God. We must believe that He came to suffer for our sins and that because he suffered for our sins, that if we believe in Him, we will be saved. Clearly I am simplifying things a little but for the most part, this is the main platform for Christianity. Though I am also a believer in this teaching, I caution all so-called Christians to not think that the journey stops there. As James 2:19 says, "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. But wilt thou know, O vain main, that faith without works is dead.
Please do not mistake what I am trying to say, we are saved by grace. That means that nothing we have done or can do will save us. With that being said, grace does not give us the ability to do what we wish. Many of us are walking around thinking that because we are "saved" that we can live a life of sin. We must understand that Jesus died to forgive our sins, but not so that we would continue to live in our sins. Some folks think that because they say that they are saved, that they really are saved.
A great deal of Christians are walking around with this thought of “cheap grace”. With “cheap grace” many live as if everything can remain as it was before. That is why many people do not respect Christians because we look and act no different than them. It's like saying I am saved and yet you sleep around, take drugs, use filthy language, and spend your time in the club. My question to you, is do you think that sounds like someone who is truly saved? I have spoken to many pastors on the subject of "Once saved always saved" and they all pretty much say the same thing -you cannot gain salvation and then lose salvation. I then pose the question to them, “if someone comes down to the altar to be saved and truly believes it at the time but then turn right back around and continue to live a life of sin, will they go to heaven?”. Most, if not all of the pastors say that maybe that person was not truly saved from the beginning.
I believe that our churches stay filled today because our preachers are fixing meals for the people that are easier to digest and because there is not true contrition involved. Are we not called to repentance? To repent is not to half way say Lord forgive me, it is to feel the wrong in what you have done and to turn away from that wrong. It is not to perpetuate that wrong and think that grace has covered it.
Am I saying that he who believes in Christ is not saved? No I am not! Am I saying that we are not saved by grace? No, I am not! Am I saying that because we become "saved" that we will never commit sins? No I am not! What I am saying is that someone who is saved does not live a life of perpetual sins. They do not purposefully and boldly sin. A saved man falls and gets back up -he does not stay down and wallow in his sin. And as the Lord says in the book of Matthew, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" Don't let your “cheap grace” do you in!!!
I have visited several different churches and denominations throughout the years and the one constant throughout each church is that everyone believes that they are saved. When you hear the altar call each week, the preacher basically asks everyone, “do you know where you are going if you were to die today?”. Some rush up to the front to assure their salvation, while others believe that they have already obtained it. But is walking down the aisle to the front of the church enough?
It is often said that in order to be saved, we must believe in the Son of God. We must believe that He came to suffer for our sins and that because he suffered for our sins, that if we believe in Him, we will be saved. Clearly I am simplifying things a little but for the most part, this is the main platform for Christianity. Though I am also a believer in this teaching, I caution all so-called Christians to not think that the journey stops there. As James 2:19 says, "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. But wilt thou know, O vain main, that faith without works is dead.
Please do not mistake what I am trying to say, we are saved by grace. That means that nothing we have done or can do will save us. With that being said, grace does not give us the ability to do what we wish. Many of us are walking around thinking that because we are "saved" that we can live a life of sin. We must understand that Jesus died to forgive our sins, but not so that we would continue to live in our sins. Some folks think that because they say that they are saved, that they really are saved.
A great deal of Christians are walking around with this thought of “cheap grace”. With “cheap grace” many live as if everything can remain as it was before. That is why many people do not respect Christians because we look and act no different than them. It's like saying I am saved and yet you sleep around, take drugs, use filthy language, and spend your time in the club. My question to you, is do you think that sounds like someone who is truly saved? I have spoken to many pastors on the subject of "Once saved always saved" and they all pretty much say the same thing -you cannot gain salvation and then lose salvation. I then pose the question to them, “if someone comes down to the altar to be saved and truly believes it at the time but then turn right back around and continue to live a life of sin, will they go to heaven?”. Most, if not all of the pastors say that maybe that person was not truly saved from the beginning.
I believe that our churches stay filled today because our preachers are fixing meals for the people that are easier to digest and because there is not true contrition involved. Are we not called to repentance? To repent is not to half way say Lord forgive me, it is to feel the wrong in what you have done and to turn away from that wrong. It is not to perpetuate that wrong and think that grace has covered it.
Am I saying that he who believes in Christ is not saved? No I am not! Am I saying that we are not saved by grace? No, I am not! Am I saying that because we become "saved" that we will never commit sins? No I am not! What I am saying is that someone who is saved does not live a life of perpetual sins. They do not purposefully and boldly sin. A saved man falls and gets back up -he does not stay down and wallow in his sin. And as the Lord says in the book of Matthew, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" Don't let your “cheap grace” do you in!!!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
THE CRUTCH THAT IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH
The Crutch That Is Black History Month
I have never been a fan of Black history month in its current state. For as long as I can remember we've covered the same group of people over and over again in school. Yes Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and Harriet Tubman were important and should never be forgotten, but let us not forget that there are many, many black people who have accomplished great things in this country. The current state of Black history month seems to cheat us of all of the great things that we have done. Some would suggest that having a month is better than not having anything at all. Though that may be true to a certain extent, we have allowed this month to make us lazy.
It amazes me how a country that is a few hundred years old could find it acceptable to make Black accomplishments 28 days long. This is partly why today's youth lacks identity. Many of us do not know who we are and from where we come. Sure, we know that we were slaves brought to America. We know about civil rights, but we don't seem to know more than that. How can we be proud when we don't know that we have so much that should make us proud?
I mean no disrespect to Carter G. Woodson and what he was trying to accomplish when the observance of Black History month began. My problem is with our country's lack of advancement when it comes to Black history, and with Blacks ourselves. We are not teaching our kids about themselves and we keep hiding behind a month to do the job for us. I don't expect our government to change but I do expect for us as a people to change. Most of us could tell you where to buy the best pizza in Chicago or we can give you Walter Payton's career stats but many of us don't know who Jean Baptiste Point du Sable is.
Our kids are blinded by their current circumstances and do not see that not only were we Kings and Queens, we were and are so many other things. Frederick Douglas was a slave and accomplished many great things. Charles Drew was raised in a time when racism was blatant and rampant yet he still accomplished so much. Maybe if we taught our children that just because they currently live in a state of need, they have the ability to one day change those circumstances. We have to teach our kids that there are more ways to be successful than just how great your jump shot is or how fast you can run the forty yard dash.
Please understand that I am not disrespecting athletes. If you can make millions playing sports, by all means go for it. My problem is that parents unfortunately are not letting their children know that being an athlete does not guarantee your success. Your brain guarantees your success. Maybe we can teach our kids about Myron Rolle so that they can see that we are a smart people. Myron Roll graduated from Florida State University in 2.5 years with a 3.7 G.P.A. He was awarded the honor of being a Rhodes Scholar and studied at Oxford for a year. He was also the number one rated safety in America coming out of high school. Currently Myron is trying to make an NFL roster and if he does, great!But if he does not, he is going to be a brain surgeon. While all of these players are sustaining brain injuries, he may one day be the one to cure them!
Four years ago we were taught that a Black man can actually be president of the US. This was not just in theory but in actual reality. My point is quite simple, Black history month is better than nothing but our history is something that should be taught daily. We need for our youth to see that success has been accomplished by us before and it can be accomplished by us again. Young Black children need to see that we matter and that we are important. If the government will not do this then we as a people need to do this. Let's stop using Black History Month as a crutch and start teaching Black history to our children all year long.
I have never been a fan of Black history month in its current state. For as long as I can remember we've covered the same group of people over and over again in school. Yes Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and Harriet Tubman were important and should never be forgotten, but let us not forget that there are many, many black people who have accomplished great things in this country. The current state of Black history month seems to cheat us of all of the great things that we have done. Some would suggest that having a month is better than not having anything at all. Though that may be true to a certain extent, we have allowed this month to make us lazy.
It amazes me how a country that is a few hundred years old could find it acceptable to make Black accomplishments 28 days long. This is partly why today's youth lacks identity. Many of us do not know who we are and from where we come. Sure, we know that we were slaves brought to America. We know about civil rights, but we don't seem to know more than that. How can we be proud when we don't know that we have so much that should make us proud?
I mean no disrespect to Carter G. Woodson and what he was trying to accomplish when the observance of Black History month began. My problem is with our country's lack of advancement when it comes to Black history, and with Blacks ourselves. We are not teaching our kids about themselves and we keep hiding behind a month to do the job for us. I don't expect our government to change but I do expect for us as a people to change. Most of us could tell you where to buy the best pizza in Chicago or we can give you Walter Payton's career stats but many of us don't know who Jean Baptiste Point du Sable is.
Our kids are blinded by their current circumstances and do not see that not only were we Kings and Queens, we were and are so many other things. Frederick Douglas was a slave and accomplished many great things. Charles Drew was raised in a time when racism was blatant and rampant yet he still accomplished so much. Maybe if we taught our children that just because they currently live in a state of need, they have the ability to one day change those circumstances. We have to teach our kids that there are more ways to be successful than just how great your jump shot is or how fast you can run the forty yard dash.
Please understand that I am not disrespecting athletes. If you can make millions playing sports, by all means go for it. My problem is that parents unfortunately are not letting their children know that being an athlete does not guarantee your success. Your brain guarantees your success. Maybe we can teach our kids about Myron Rolle so that they can see that we are a smart people. Myron Roll graduated from Florida State University in 2.5 years with a 3.7 G.P.A. He was awarded the honor of being a Rhodes Scholar and studied at Oxford for a year. He was also the number one rated safety in America coming out of high school. Currently Myron is trying to make an NFL roster and if he does, great!But if he does not, he is going to be a brain surgeon. While all of these players are sustaining brain injuries, he may one day be the one to cure them!
Four years ago we were taught that a Black man can actually be president of the US. This was not just in theory but in actual reality. My point is quite simple, Black history month is better than nothing but our history is something that should be taught daily. We need for our youth to see that success has been accomplished by us before and it can be accomplished by us again. Young Black children need to see that we matter and that we are important. If the government will not do this then we as a people need to do this. Let's stop using Black History Month as a crutch and start teaching Black history to our children all year long.
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