I've always hated being called a "good guy" or a "nice guy". When it comes to women, nice guys usually finish last. A woman once told me that I would be a great guy to marry but she thought that I was too nice of a guy to date. I spent years trying to figure this out and I must admit that I am still very much confused.
I always thought that I was part of the cool crew because I was well known in school. I was on the debate team and I was a jock as well I always dressed the part and looked the part but I was not what women were looking for at the time. As crazy at it sounds (and it does sound crazy), I had too much respect for women. I was taught to be a gentleman. To be the type of man who would listen to you when you needed a friend, open the door for you when we were out, and to treat you with the respect that women deserve. That, my friend, did not work! All of my girl friends said that they wanted the traits that they saw in me for their man but always seemed to choose the opposite.
Women say that they want a man who will listen to them but instead fall for men who can care less about anything that they have to say. Women say that they want to be romanced and yet they choose the guy that calls only when he needs something. Women say that they want a dependable man and yet they often chose a man who they know is not and will never be dependable. Often times a man does not know what a woman wants because she confuses him with the things that she says versus the things that she does. So I began to ask what was I doing wrong and why did women want the opposite of me?
When I got to college, I tried for a brief period to live outside of myself. I must admit, this time period brought about a change in my dating career. Though it brought various women to me, it also made me lose a little respect for females.. Seeing myself mistreat women was not how I was raised - but women loved it! Trying to be a good man only left you in the "future guy" category. You know the "future guy" - he is the guy that you eventually settle down with but not right now. When reading an article on Ask.Com they said that," A bad boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence, and confidence. To women, these traits--especially confidence--are an aphrodisiac. The problem is, in the hands of the bad boy, confidence becomes selfish arrogance." You see, the good guy is too boring and straight laced. He is predictable and can easily be run over. At least that is what some women seem to think!
I now look back at the so called "bad boy" and I see that he is still up to his old ways. He is the guy with no job and yet his clothes cost more than mine - and I work everyday. He is the one playing PlayStation from the time his woman goes to work to when she comes home. His woman also bought the clothes and the video game. He is driving her car, and using her credit card. On many occasions he has used that card and her money for other women. When the rent and other bills are due, and when she needs him the most, he is nowhere to be found. Even with all of his losing ways, it seems as if it will still take an act of God for her to get rid of him!
For the most part, the "good guy" does get the girl in the end, but at what cost to him?. He has been told all this time that he was not fit to be anything more than a friend or a future option. He sees himself as being the safe bet and trust me, no man wants to feel that way. The same passion that you once had for the "bad boy" does not seem to be the same passion that you have for him. The "bad boy" used to disrespect you and call you out of your name, but you were sexing him up like crazy. Now you need to feel committed and loved so that you can be in the mood. A good guy has no problem with treating you with respect but it is only human for him to wonder why you could be somebody else's tramp and then want him to treat you like a lady. This man cooks, cleans, and helps pay the bills and now you want to ration sex with him. The other guy did little to nothing and you used to let him roll over on you whenever he wanted. Good guys know that and it bothers us all. We may or may not say it but it is the truth. So I ask, now you want me when you have been used and abused? You truly haven't given me the best of you, just the rest of you.
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