Your Weakness Used Against You
My wife has a saying (I don't know where she got it) – “Women are pink inside”. She uses this statement to illustrate the fact that women are not like men when it comes to dating and sexual practices. A man can tell a woman that he is not looking for anything serious and in most cases he means exactly what he says. A woman can say that she is not looking for a relationship but when things happen in her mind that seem to constitute a relationship, she begins to want more or think that the relationship is more than it really is.
A man thinks that if he tells you that he is not looking for a serious relationship, this is his way of clearing his own conscience. In his mind he is saying “I think she is cool enough to spend some time with but just not cool enough for me to want to make her my all”. He has learned a long time ago to separate his actions from his emotions. In all honesty though, he knows exactly what he is doing. He wants the benefits of having a girlfriend without the responsibility of having a girlfriend.
Women seem to differ from men when it comes to this. A woman can start off hanging with a guy with the thoughts of no strings attached but in most cases her emotions get the best of her. She begins to think he is cool because they have such a fun time together. They begin doing “couple things” without the actual title of couple. She at some point begins to think of him as her man while he still thinks of her the same way he did from day one. This, of course, is where the conflict arises.
Most women cannot play this particular game with men, because it is not what they do best. From early on in life women seek the “Ken and Barbie” or the “Princess and Knight in Shinning Armor” relationships. Little boys are stealing their older brothers’ Playboy magazines, dreaming of the day that they can feel a woman for themselves. Their feelings from early on are less about emotions and more about the physical. He does not dream of the white house and picket fence, he dreams of the nurse outfit and garter belt.
I was recently in a situation with a guy during which he said he didnt want a girlfriend (or rather he didnt want me as his girlfriend). Yes, I did get caught up into believing we were more...why wouldn't I? We traveled together, we spent every spare moment talking to one another, hell...our families were involved. At the end of the day however, when it became convenient for him to dangle the 'i told you I didn't want a gf card' he did just that.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere along the line it became my fault because he was 'honest' from the beginng. Many people believe that actions speak louder than words but, does it really. That saying to me is very conditional and, the conditions are defined by who ever it so benefits at the time.
The point of my comment is that I had to decide to stop 'being his gf'. I had to stop putting him first and reserving the special things and times for him because apparently it wasn't as important for him as it was for me. The kicker is, when I met someone else it became a problem for him....go figure.
Sign,
Sick of the bs